XVX. Oklahoma. Bisexual. Trans. Also at ok4rj.org
Bisexual friends, just a reminder:
Describing your bisexuality by talking about other people’s genitals is not cool. Since one gender has the room to encompass a lot of different kinds of people with different bodies, any sexual identity has enough room to encompass people with a myriad of genital configurations. It is not unique to bisexuality and it’s not what makes bisexuality distinct from other identities.
So by saying “oh I like dick AND pussy” as proof of your bisexuality, you’re engaging in cissexism because you presume different genital configurations have to be spread among multiple (usually in this case described as “two”) genders, rather than acknowledging that one gender has the room for both and more.
Saying “I can stick my hand down someone’s pants and not care what’s down there!” is also not inclusive or progressive, it mostly just makes me cringe. Reducing people to their genitals is just not cool regardless, and it impacts us trans folks in uniquely bad ways because of the fetishizing (most often directed at AMAB trans folks) that occurs. Folks might think it communicates an enthusiasm for diversity, I suppose, but mostly it just tells me you haven’t thought this through and you haven’t earned any trust by saying it to me or many others, either.
Perhaps the best way to talk about your attraction (when it comes to talking about why bisexuality is distinct) is to always center around discussing your attraction to people and not bodies, because that restores the personhood to people whose bodies are used as a way to deprive them of it. Talking about your attraction to multiple genders is a good way to talk about bisexuality without engaging in cissexism on a linguistic level (although that isn’t the only way it manifests; vigilance in all areas is still required).